When someone says to you that Blondie and Abba sound incredibly similar and you don't want to punch them in the face.

That is love.

Whew - I have sometime while The Xand Man sleeps to make a post! Lets see lots has happened lately.

Most importantly Jamers got a job! We are so excited that after, um, five and a half months he is once again employed. The poopy thing is it is part time to start (hopefully he will move to full time in a couple of months) AND he had to take about a 36% pay cut(in hourly rate, not counting the fact that he will be working half as many hours). Thusly, if he stays part time we won't be able to afford to live, especially with the cost of childcare even at part time. So while we are trying to look at the positive of him having a job, we are now forced to look at the fact that either he or I will need to secure a second job in order to pay the bills.

*Fifteen minutes after starting the post, he woke up and wanted feedings.

As a result, Jamers is going to call our primary mortgage company on Monday and see about us getting the loan modification as per the stimulus package. He did all the research and he is sure we qualify and could easily lower our payment. I'm skeptical as I don't think anything in my life has ever come without a serious price, but we'll see. He has to wait until Monday as my mom burned through ALL our 550 cell minutes in the first week and a half she was here. Right now we are like 18 or so minutes over that and so we are waiting until our new month before making any calls on our phones.

*Two hours later I got one more paragraph written. I'm starting to lose it as he wants to be fed like every hour. After I feed him, change him, swaddle him, and burp him it is just about time for him to start crying for food again.

I am a horrible mother. Not only do I not have any maternal instincts, but I can't seem to do anything right for him, not even breastfeeding. If I was doing it right he wouldn't need feedings every hour. I don't even have time to pump anymore between feedings. At least we got about a five hour stretch in last night before he woke up and needed to be fed again. We got to sleep about 1ish, after starting for bed around 10:30 - that is how long the cycle takes for us to close up the house, get him and ourselves ready and then get him calmed down enough (ie: fed over and over until he finally conks out)before we can sleep. He awoke around 6:30ish for his morning feeding. Poor Jamers only got another hour or so after that of sleep (because Xander wouldn't go back to sleep right away) before he had to get up and start getting ready for work. At least I got to stay in bed and sleep with Xander for another hour and a half.

So now, 3 hours of continuous feeding every hour, he is still wailing his head off and I'm crying. I don't know what else to do for him, I've got music on, just changed him, swaddled him, the only thing left is feeding him again, which I'm so tired of doing. It is incredibly tedious - breastfeeding.

I had so much more I wanted to post - but my non-stop headache from the last couple of days coupled with baby crying is making me leave the computer now. I have no idea how anybody does this - motherhood thing. I'm already sick of it and it has only been 3 weeks. I'm not trying to be a snot about it - but that is how I feel. I'm not cut out for being a mother and with Jamers out of the house now, there is nobody to help me and take him away for an hour or so where I can begin to feel like a normal Kelly again.

Toodles all - not sure when or if I'll be able to post again.

My Jamers was born! So he is now 28 and soon to be a daddy. (Yes, I rock the cradle of love) He doesn't have any clue what he wants to do today, which is both frustrating and good because I could start labor at any minute :) and it would be very annoying to be at a movie or something and have to leave.

Also, we watched Dexter (the first four episodes anyways) yesterday with Noe and Bryan. I think Jamers and I both really enjoyed it. Last night I was saying to my beloved, great, now we have another show to be addicted to. Luckily for us, Noe has stated that Bryan will buy her the first two seasons on DVD so we should be able to watch those at some point. Add to that Arrested Development and BSG and we may forever be in limbo on getting through any of them.

Our puppy playdate for today has been canceled. I guess that leaves Jamers and I on our own for finding something around the house to do together today.

Hope all your weekends are going well.

Sick - I has it! I was originally going to post about how miserable I'm feeling. I blame one of my PMs who hasn't been feeling well lately, went home early on Friday and called in this morning with either laryngitis or strep (he was going to the dr later this morning). Coincidentally, my general icky feelings as of late that included a cough today turned into sore throat and stuffy nose. I've been drinking pom tea with honey and lemon to help but it doesn't help much.

I've been so healthy through this whole baby thing. If I get sick now I just may kill my PM - or make him feel real guilty - I haven't decided which yet.

In other news, my husband is fricken awesome! He just came up with a new character that I told him he needs to "characterize" on lj - the Gay Gangster. The jokes pretty much write themselves. For example, he just threw down the gang sign by putting his two fore-fingers and his two thumbs together to make an upside down triangle. I was cracking up. I guess that would be reason number 14 why I love my angille - he comes up with the weirdest stuff!

Did I ever mention Mackrel Jackson?

Not really, but it sounds good, right? I think I may have some little bug clinging to my system, not enough to knock me out, but just enough to make life miserable. No, not Xander. A serious sickness, which is causing many bathroom trips and headaches and nausea, well I guess it could be Xander, but somehow I don't feel that is the case. But that was not the point of this post.

My mom called today and she has purchased her ticket to come up for Xander's arrival! I'm so happy! She hasn't been up here for almost 2 years, and I haven't seen her since last May - right before I got pregnant.

She is flying in on 2/13 at 1pm, when she told me I said, okay I'll have Jamers pick you up. She said, "You won't be working on the 13th, will you?" I told her that yes in fact I was (assuming Alexander stays put until at least the 14th) I rather have my 12 weeks of leave with my baby than 11 weeks with my baby and a week before (scheduled arrival) off. Course he probably won't show up on 2/14, but that's okay. She'll be leaving on the 28th, and I believe the plan is that pretty much as soon as my mom gets home, my sister will be flying up to stay for awhile. I'm so happy that my family will be here with us - not only to help out, but to see the baby and be here to experience our first month or so with our baby. It would be that way if we were still in SC, so being able to have that family closeness up here is making me ecstatic!

In other news, vanilla ice cream happens to be one of my least favorite ice cream flavors, which James now knows. However, any ice cream at this juncture is most welcome. I've found it helps keep the heartburn at bay especially during the sleeping times.

Non-baby related - I lurves my husband. I was reading some of my very first posts (made during our not-together times) and it made me love him and value him all the more. I'm so lucky to have my Mr.Wonderful to spend my life with.

That is all.

I drove into work this morning. Drove not being maybe the best verb. More like floating mixed with driving. The highways were fine, the streets not so much. I learned about "High Centering" and how chains on your wheels don't really mean anything when the snow lifts your car by the undercarriage and slides you around. I didn't crash and thankfully I made it both to and from work without injury.

I let my boss and all my PMs know I probably won't be in tomorrow given my harrowing adventures this morning. I got all my work done that had time deadlines that I had so there shouldn't be any problems with me missing another day - except for the lack of pay of course.

So I plan on staying in and enjoying one more day of sleeping in and cuddling with furkids and husband. I plan on watching tons of Babylon 5, drinking lots of hot cocoa, and working on what I can in Xander's room. In theory my father in law shows up tomorrow. He is driving up from CA and may or may not make it in time to spend Christmas with us. I hope his trip is safe and I'm sure I-5 is probably kept pretty drivable even if it isn't the most pleasant of road trips.

I have a present under the tree, Jamers does not. I feel bad. Apparently he made me a gift <3 Jamers. I didn't have time to make him something - but he already knew that. So we'll see what wonderful thing he made for me. I'm sure I will love it.

Anyways toodling off for now. Merry Christmas to all.

Two nights ago, Jamers made my Christmas Bonus for dinner. My company doesn't give monetary bonuses for Christmas, last year we got them around Mid-February. However, they do give us Ham. A big ole spiral cut Ham.

Pickle's only pork love is bacon. I could totally do without pork chops or pork loins or ham. However, although we are given the option of donating our ham to the Oregon Food Bank I choose to take mine as it could feed the two (or three if Alexander counts yet) of us for a good long while.

He made the ham along with scalloped potatoes from scratch and cheesy broccoli. Dinner was yummy despite the porkieness of it all. For lunch yesterday I had leftovers from a couple of assorted dinners previous to the ham dinner. Dinner last night was a replay of the ham dinner from the night before. Lunch this afternoon was ham dinner less broccoli, but added spinach souffle instead. It too was yummy.

Tonight however is a different story. After feeding the pets I turn to see James pulling the big bag of ham out of the fridge. I look at him and say, "We aren't having ham again, are we?" "Pork and Beans. You said you loved Pork and Beans." I don't like ham, but I'll eat it. However after having it for dinner two nights in a row and then again for lunch the last thing I wanted for dinner was yet more ham. So I did what any pregnant women who was sick of ham would do, I almost started to cry. Seeing my face he quickly put the ham away and said he would make something else.

See I don't mind eating off the ham for awhile. What I do mind is eating it at every meal for days on end. Bless his little heart he is down there now trying to find something to throw together for dinner so that I don't have a breakdown.

Sometimes he does get it.

Forlori rolled past 100,000 miles this weekend on our road trip. I knew it was coming up but I missed the moment. I didn't catch it til she was at 100,009, and I made the announcement to Poppa and Jamers that she had rolled. It is amazing to me, although it shouldn't be with a Toyota, that she runs as well and trouble free as she does. I've only had her for about 6 years (60,000 miles) but she has never had any major problems for me. As long as I keep her tuned up and stay up on her maintenance, I'm sure she'll be around for years and years to come, assuming of course so will gasoline. After filling her up on Sunday afternoon, Jamers calculated out that she still gets 34+ miles to the gallon. Now that was most road trip and her normal is between 30*31 mpg, but still pretty fricken awesome for a car that has been on the road for 9 years. Have I mentioned how much I love my car?

Exploder no workies right now oddly enough. Jamers and my pop have narrowed it to the fuel system and probably the fuel pump. Now we must have Justice towed in and worked on and in these times with our financial state it is a little irritating. However I want to get her fixed as Forlori is becoming more and more cramped for me and Xander.

I have a foot bath again W00ty W00 Batman! Jamers bought a rubber stopper at the hardware store (at Pop's suggestion) at viola! My foot bath is water tight and I can plop my achy little feet in for a nice warm massage. Of course as Brookstone couldn't er, wouldn't supply me with a replacement part even though I was willing to pay for it, means I won't be buying any of their goods again. Their items are not cheap and the poor customer service I received spoke volumes about the way they do business. Although I wouldn't trade my foot bath for the wide world and I certainly would buy it again given a do over. It is almost impossible to find a foot bath that heats the water (not "maintains" the heat).

I had other things I wanted to post but I can't remember. The night grows older and my mind grows weaker. Just waiting for the man to finish up dinner so we can eat and I can climb into the nice warm bed.

Oh, and I love my Jamers. Tonight I was looking at him and I just couldn't stop myself from kissing his sweet face.

It's true, its true! See every day when I get home from work I call Mr. Man and chat for a little bit. It helps my depression and loneliness to hear his voice, if even for only a few minutes. Well ever since he got his Treo 650 back in July, he has been using an ear-bud for speaking on it. I can see the practicality in it since the phone looks more like a PDA or a blackberry and he doesn't want to get his skin greases all over the screen. Anyhoo, so yeah he always talks on the ear-bud thingy. Yesterday when I called him, he discovered that his ear-bud was missing. He checked on him but couldn't find it, and I was too fricken lazy to search the house for it.

Fast forward to 10 (or was it 11?) when Jamers gets home. I was half asleep so I'm not sure how this got brought up, but I think I asked him if he had found his ear-bud. He said he did, but he didn't sound too happy. He found it alright. When he pulled into the parking lot last night, it was there, lying on the ground all run over and smasheled. So the good news is, he found it, the bad news is it is no longer among the workings of wireborn devices.

Now his birthday isn't until next Thursday that is the 8th for those of you who may want to take note ;) However, he needed a replacement for the ear-bud and since is phone is so high techy, I decided that a Borg implant would be a better suit for him and his Treo. As it was payday today, I went out after work and picked one up for him. Lucky for me, the cheapest Borg hardware was also the best compatible for his phone and because I know how much he loves to accessorize, I picked up the little rainbow pack of colored strips he can interchange in his implant.

I am such an impatient sillyface that I called him up and asked him if he wanted his birthday gift now, cause, I'm that impatient. He said sure, so I drove it over to him. I think he likes it. As I'm a techniphob, I think this was a big step. I've begun Borging up my hubby and I'm not disturbed by it, well, as of yet.

I think he wanted to go snowboarding for his birthday, but he has yet to ask anybody if they want to go, so I'm not sure what we will end up doing for his day. I would be fine staying out of the cold altogether, but if he still wants to go, I would go up to sit in the lodge whilst he plays on the slopes. Would any Portland friends who still like our company want to make a day trip up to Timberline? Let me know or Jamers as he was the one pushing for this. Originally he wanted to go on the 10th, which is only a week from Saturday, not quite sure that is going to work now, maybe a little later in the month before we head off to DL.

That is about all I needed to say. Much going on with houses, work, family and the like, but I'm not feeling like plopping it all down right now. Toodles all.

he made me two new icons that I had concepted.

I love my husband!

Spending my lunch making my Star Wars character. My character without any background or personality. Anyhow, I really don't feel like game today. I'm still exhausted and focusing on anything, even something as simple as character creation, is feeling like torture. I was doing fine this morning, but now I'm fried.

Last night went okay. We met Xine and Kurt and AJ's and had dinner. I wasn't terribly impressed with my steak, but dessert was fantastic. We got a deep fried cheesecake thingy. Probably 400 calories a bite, but it was sooooo worth it. We didn't know how big they were going to be when we ordered dessert, so each couple ordered one. Well when they came out there was four good size chunks on each plate. We each had a chunk and Jamers and I brought the other four home for today or tomorrow.

This weekend has no "must do" plans, and I'm thankful for that. I've had soo much fun lately, but my body can't keep up with me. I think this weekend will be very laid back and only minor moving stuff will be done.

Now that James and I have had our honeymoon, our weekend away at Costanoa, we need to have our reception. We had previously talked about doing it sometime this year. We've been so consumed by the moving thing, that it had fallen off my radar. Well I put it back on today. I would love to have it here in SC before we move up to Oregon and away from most of the people who would be attending.

I haven't even brooched the subject with Jamers yet. I spoke with Christine here in the office this morning about whether they do events at the winery or not. She said technically no, but for friends and the like, they could swing it. I told her about James and I not having had a reception yet. She said to just let her know when and they could do it. Now James and I should sit down and figure it out. Money isn't really going to be a worry for us, I don't think. If it is a small number of peeps 30-40 we could do it up there. I don't know. Just a thought floating through my head.

Well must off to work on character in the next 15 or so minutes. Toodlies

James, honey, eeeewweee. That is all.