We got the first round of furniture loaded and off to moms! We unloaded it and started loading my Cobra chairs right as it started raining. Luckily for me that the storage is pretty close to mom's house. After unloading those, we headed home. We were going to take a second load, but mom and Annie called and said that we didn't need to make a second trip. They fit the last piece in mom's car. I told her to hold off, that she needed to take my office chair so she would have something to sit on at the computer. When we got here, mom was pulled up in the driveway, and I had James pull in behind her. We got Annie's chair out of the house, and James' chair into the house, no problem. Then James goes to start the truck to move it for mom and Annie, but it won't start. He tries again. It won't start. Several attempts later, but still no go. We open the hood, everything looks in place, the battery doesn't seem to be the problem. Sounds like the starter. So the three buff Dalpoggetto women that we are, my sister, mom and I pushed the truck out of the driveway so mom could pull out her car. Then the three of us pushed it back into the driveway and in far enough so that Lizzy could park.

James is going to have Mark at work take a look at it tomorrow. He called momma Donna and apparently this truck has been known to have starter problems. Before she gave us the truck, she had it looked at and stuff, specifically the starter and ignition. They couldn't find anything wrong. So I'm a little pissed. I told James having a truck we can't rely on means we don't really have a truck. It was lucky that it happened to be in the driveway, but what if we were at storage? Or over the hill? Or down in Monterey? I don't want to dump money into it even though we didn't have to pay for it. Hey it got the bar up from SLO county. It got mom's furniture out of granny's. I guess if worse comes to worse I can call my pop and have him come down with the big truck and move stuff that way. I don't want to have to do that, but I don't want to be moving stuff and get stuck at the storage or in a parking lot somewhere.

We accomplished what we needed to today and that is all that I'm focusing on now. We've got 25 mins to dinner for Vireo's birthday, but I just don't know if I can must up the energy to do it now. I hope if we don't make it she'll forgive me. It was just a pooplin afternoon.

I think that people who used to be in James' life have dropped out of it because of me. I'm not talking about people I specifically don't want in our lives, but his friends he used to hang out with. I feel sometimes like for whatever reason, they don't talk to him anymore because of me.

I guess I just feel like I've ripped him away from some aspects of his life, despite him telling me to the contrary. I'm not saying I feel guilty, because I don't. He is his own person and does what he wants. But those of you who know the Jamers from before the Kelly was part of his life would know what I'm talking about.

I know one of the reasons why the offer to stay for a shit load more money isn't worth it, is because of our friends up in Portland. Most specifically, James' friends are almost all in Portland. I've had people tell me to take the flippin money, stay, and make it work. I won't of course because James' life is my life and his happiness means way more than any monetary amount ever could. I'm really hoping that once we get up there, his friends that have pretty much stayed away from him will find their way back. Either with phone calls, or emails, or whatnot.

Maybe it is just this rainy weather, but I'm feeling sad today. Not sad at anything or anyone, just sad in general. I'm making a real good effort to not be that way. The book I just finished reading was such a great comfort to me. It really opened my eyes to a bunch of things. I'm hoping to be able to incorporate it into my daily life. If I can manage that, I think things will feel real good. I think I can be real happy, the majority of the time. That is my goal. Happiness.

It occured to me last night after our evening activities were through, that yesterday marked the one year anniversary of Jamers and I being "offically" back together. It was still a couple of weeks until he was all mine again, but it was a pretty special day. Last year, I quickly put together a nice evening for us to enjoy V-day. This year, I made James do all the work. It's only fair, right?

When Jamers got home last night, we went ahead and cleaned the bathroom together. I can't even recall the last time that room was properly cleaned. James had chosen to be the cleaner of the bathroom and kitchens, but unfortunately, he just isn't a good cleaner. He has stated on several occasions, he never learned how to clean. I still can't quite wrap my head around not knowing how to clean. I mean how does somebody go the first 25 years of their life and not know how to do it? James has lived with many other people, did none of them care if he cleaned? Were they all messy people? I just can't imagine that being the case, but somehow he managed to get through up until this point without putting too much effort into cleaning. Well that is changing. I took the shower/bath and he did the toliet, floor, and sink. I think we worked well together. It made the time go by faster, and it was nice to have someone to talk to while scrubbing. All in all, the bathroom looks pretty good, well as good as it can anyway. It needs major remodeling, like, oh, I don't know, new drywall, and paint.

Today has been pretty blah. I got oodles of work done today and I found myself doing major multi-tasking. I've discovered that I really, really enjoy when I have multiple things to do and I have to prioritize them and work on all of them together. It gives me such a feeling of accomplishement when they get done. So although work was awesome in the feeling good about it, I'm not feeling like all happy. I don't know, weirdness for me still I guess.

Anyhow, the Jamers is now home and rubbing all those tight back muscles so I should go. I hope you all have a great night, whether you take a minute to reflect on how great your life is without someone, or how great it is with someone.

Happy Love Day to you all!

my body is soooo needing down time to recover from Sunday. I feel like a Mactruck hit me. Painkillers are okay, but I really don't like having to take them while at work. I like my mind active and sharp. It hasn't created any issues yet, but nonetheless I'm just wanting to be home and sleeping away this pain.

The day is sunny and beautiful. I really would like to get out this afternoon and walk down the wharf and back. There are obstacles in the way though. One would be it is Tuesday and that is Alisha and Ryan night. The second would be that I'm not sure if my body would be very happy with that. I do however think it would be good to get it out there and stretch through the pain.

I was so happy last night. Dinner was okay, but then we stopped at Logos on the way to the hot tub. I always check out the children's section of books. We've started a collection for when we've got the litt'lins running around. Anyhoo, I've been looking for awhile for the Little Miss and Mr. Man books. Does anybody out there remember them? Apparently most of my friends have no idea what I'm talking about. So everytime we go to Logos, which is quite often actually, I look for them. The books are small and square and I thought would easily catch my eye on the shelf. Last night I was looking at the spines of the little books and once again I couldn't find any. Then like lightening it hits me: maybe since the books are so small there isn't anything on the spines. So I quickly flip through the little books and guess what? I found one! Woot! It was Mr. Silly. I was so flippin happy. I showed it to James who then said, hmm, looks vaguely familiar. We had less than 15 minutes to gimp our way over to Well Within, so I told James to start on over. I had to buy the book.

I get up to the counter, and the clerk looks at the book and says, whoa, I remember these. I haven't seen them in so long. Then we had a nice conversation about the Mr. Man/Little Miss books. She remembers them fondly as I do. Then she said you know what other books I remember that I haven't seen around? Those Seredipity books, do you remember those? I said no not really, but I have a friend who has been looking for them. xinejaquette wasn't it you that was looking for those, or maybe it was intrepid_glory, I honestly can't remember.

When we got home and literally crawled into bed, James read it to me. Twas such a cute little nonsense book, I just loved it. Now my quest to collect them has been renewed. I have hope that I'll be able to track them down. I think I'll begin on Ebay, because, really, whatever it is I can find it on ebay, right? Teehee. I've never shopped there because everyone I know becomes addicted, but I'm hoping that I'm immune to it.

Tomorrow is angille's 25th birthday. He is going to be a quarter of a century old, but I still feel like he is so young. Well I guess he is compared to me. So anyway we are going to go to AJ Spur's down in Marina and Xine and Kurt will be joining us. It will be a nice not busy evening. Exactly how I've begun to take life. I've had moments lately, but for the most part, I'm staying in a relaxed state of mind. All those things in life that upset me, I'm just letting go, well mostly. Things that I have to deal with on an ongoing basis, I'm having trouble with. I'm hoping that by the end of the year, I'll let those things go too. Than happiness will be a norm, not an exception.

My sister's birthday is Friday as is my mom's graduation from her nursing program. I'm so proud of her. She is still not drinking and going to be starting a new career. She gets out of the house and does things now. Compare this to a year ago, where I'm giving her lectures about why she needs to stop drinking. My sis is rearing up and taking a buttload of classes this semester, so many in fact she was told she needed to cut back how many units she was taking. Things in my family life seem like they are really starting to head in a positive direction.

Geez, there is so much that I need to get down now, but time is up and this post is already too oodly long. Maybe I can squeeze in the rest of my randomness later.