I loved the sun this weekend. I got to go out and mow the lawns which took awhile. I didn't mind though because I got to be out in the sun :) I pulled a little bit of weeds up and did some hoeing as well. I want to get planter boxes and put some out on the deck and a large one alongside the downstairs bedroom wall and fence up until the gate. Xine was kind enough to run out to Home Depot with me and when I saw the prices of boxes I decided the I'll just get the spot all hoed up for now and maybe sometime in the future Jamers and I can build boxes. It would be better anyways as that why I can get exactly what I want aesthetically and size-wise.

TMI: I started my period again. I know that most women don't get them again until quite awhile after birth especially those that breastfeed. I guess I'm just one of the lucky ones. I told my mom about it and she kept saying, "I'm so sorry. I didn't get my period again after having you for over a year. I'm so sorry. Well I guess you are pretty fertile." Which honestly didn't make me feel better. I guess it wouldn't be too bad but I'm just getting over a cold I must've picked up in CA.

I had to start pumping and saving milk up for this week as I'm returning back to work tomorrow all be it part time. I pumped Saturday and I was surprised at the lack of milk. I pumped Sunday and the same thing. I'm only getting like half an ounce per side per pump. I've made sure to cut out the coffee and I've been drinking water like it is going out of style. Now little one has been fussy off and on so I was wondering if my milk supply is low. But he feeds like all the time, which is supposed to increase my supply. After the lack of lactation from the pump I began to wonder. Otay well he is drinking a lot himself so maybe he is taking most of what I have? No that doesn't really explain the continued reduction of milk.

On a hunch I looked up breastfeeding while menstruating and guess what? My period could cause a reduced milk supply. You know what else can cause a reduced milk supply? Being sick. So double whammy for my baby lately. No wonder I hardly get anything out when I pump. So now that my cold is pretty much gone I'm hoping that the supply starts to increase again. I just hope my period goes away soon. I guess they are totally irregular when they begin again. Luckily I haven't had any cramps (yet) but damn I'm angry I got it again. I had just finished up the after delivery bleeding.

Oh, and the sling isn't so wonderful for me actually. It is the only time Xander conks out and unfortunately it doesn't sit on my shoulder right. It works fine for Jamers, but he has wide shoulders and no breasts or tum-tum to get in the way of it slinging correctly. I put Xander in it so I can get the laundry and dishes moving along but then I can't really pump, I can't use the restroom and I'm getting a backache due to my bad back and working in the yard this weekend.

I'm griping a lot. Sorry. I'm sure nobody actually reads this anyways but I had to get that out. I'm tired and I'm definitely NOT looking forward to going back to work tomorrow. I'm going to have to deal with the mess left to me by the temp, learn how to pump in the bathroom without having myself hanging out there for anyone walking in the bathroom to see, and figure out how to eat and rest during my breaks when all I'll have time for is pumping.

Argh! I really wish life had turned out a little differently for us. This situation is quite stressful and I don't know what to do.

The going away BBQ Saturday was, well, okay. I enjoyed spending time with friends outside or our normal situation, such as gaming or work, or whatnot. It always seems like I am too busy making sure everything runs smoothly and I never get enough time to visit.

The sun was shining, and we managed to snag the last covered bbq area down at the beach. The problem wasn't the weather and it wasn't that we didn't have a good time. The problem was that we had something like 25 or so confirmed definites, and another 20 or so might be theres. We bought food appropriately. We ended up with less than 20 people there, including Jamers and I. The result? We have one whole package of hamburgers (24 count), 2 packages of hot dogs (20 count), 15 garden burgers, and buns to cover the above. We are moving in a week and a half.

Sooooo last night for dinner we had hot dogs. Today for lunch I have hot dogs. Tonight for dinner, um hamburgers? Tomorrow is intrepid_glory and Ryan night and they are doing dinner, but maybe I can persuade them to eat some dogs or burgers along with what they bring. I love meaty goodness, but this next week and a half is going to test even my meat capacity.

In other news, the house is getting really, really bare. I packed up the bedroom closet this weekend and we condensed all the clothes we are keeping out into the chest of drawers. That way I don't have to pack anymore clothes. I ran out of boxes so I was unable to finish. Jamers is going to bring more home from work tonight so I should be able to finish it off 'cept for cooking and essential bathroom things this week.

Don't know what else to say. I'm getting real weird in the head about quite a few things and I'm hoping they all go away after we move. Talking to my uncle last night, he reassured me that we are making the right decision. He went as far as to say that if he and my aunt were in the same position at our age with Santa Cruz being what it is now, they would be leaving too. He than said that perhaps more of the family would be heading up that way as well.

See, Santa Cruz is quickly becoming an overpriced cess pool, where the local government caters to the people who don't live here for generations. They don't make laws and ordinances and plans based on keeping Santa Cruz a place to raise your family. They continuously pass resolutions and waste taxpayer money on things that the majority of true Santa Cruzians aren't behind. This has caused quite a few people to leave this stinkin town. The more people I run into around here, the more people I hear about that are like Jamres and I and are moving away because this place isn't worth the cost. It is sad really when you think about it. This town is becoming a place for the ubber rich, college students, and the lower class that will abide being forced to live in overly priced undersized houses just so they can live in what was once paradise. Middle class can't sustain themselves in this town anymore.

Sorry about the rant, but I just am angry and sad. I truly thought I would live my whole life here, like my mother before me and my granny. Hell even my dad was second generation, just from Soquel, not SC city. The realization that my kids will never know the carefree and relaxed small town that I came from is heartbreaking.

Enough. I'm done. That is all.

To find out why, go to angille's entry from today.

In fact, I'm so angry (still) that I couldn't eat dinner last night, breakfast this morning, and I don't think I'll be eating at lunch today either. On top of that, add housing nightmares to last night and I'm a raving zombie of pain.

Work received an acceptance for the person they want to take my position. I feel good and sad about this. I feel good because I know the guy, he is smart and trustworthy and I'll feel comfortable knowing he is taking care of the Slatters as well if not better than I did/do. I feel good because I don't have to worry about a moron to train, he is completely competent. I feel sad because it is just another reminder that I will be leaving and I love this place so much.

In other news, Verizon has lost my business permanently, as well as a potential James. Saturday when we went in with pops to take my phone off his account. The guy does the credit check and then tells me to pick out a plan. I tell him I do not want to sign up for a plan as my husband and I are moving shortly and will be going in on a new plan together and we haven't decided what cellphone company we are going with yet. I have to tell him this like 3 times. I then tell him I would just like to go on a month to month until we decide. He tells me that I will lose my phone number if I go on a month to month, because the number is now on a post paid account and switching it to a prepaid will mean I have to switch numbers. Why I wonder, as it is just setting me up to not be locked into a year contract. Apparently Verizon wants to guarentee that they are going to be able to milk me for at least a year. At this point I call James over. Here are my options, 1)Sign up for a year plan that I may end up canceling in June when we move 2)Lose my number then and there and go on a month to month or 3) Turn my fucking phone off and go cell less for the next month and a half.

So the guy behind the counter is telling me if I sign up for a plan, I can always change it later. I try, once again to explain to him, that my husband and I aren't sure if we are going with Verizon, so signing up for a plan now is not an option. He turns to James, "Well, what are your considerations for when you two sign up for a plan?" I tell him, in the grand scheme of moving, our cell plans are the last on our list and we haven't even begun to discuss what we want from our provider. He then tries another tactic. "Well when you move to Portland, you will be paying .69 a minute, so it would be to your benefit to sign up now." James, (boy I do love him) pipes up with, "Why would it cost .69/min?" He tells us my dad's plan is for CA only and there will be roaming charges. James points his finger in the air and says, "well that pretty much decides it. Cingular doesn't charge me roaming charges." My dad comes over and we decide to keep my phone on his plan until after we move and get our own phones. At which point, as much as I love him, I'll just send my phone down to my pops and he'll cancel it then.

I tell the guy to forget it. Keep me on my dad's plan and my husband and I will go with another carrier when we move up there. Fuck Verizon. They apparently don't know the meaning of customer service, nor do they listen. Dude totally sold me on not going with Verizon if only for the complete and utter lack of assistance he provided. James didn't even think cell companies charged roaming anymore. After we walked out of the store, my dad still had some other business to take care of. I was so pissed! I've never liked sales people, and I never will. I wanted one simple thing and he couldn't make it happen. So he pushed and pushed (he obviously works on some form of commission) for what was best for him, not what was best for me. I'm quite sure there are people out there who can be bullied into things, and pressured and give in and do things without thinking them through. I am not one of those people. The more somebody pushes me, the more turned and pissed off I get and in the end, they lose, not me.

Whether we go with Cingular or TMobile or somebody else has yet to be decided. However Verizon lost one current customer and one potential customer due to a money hungry sales person. Way to go Verizon.

Anyhoo, I hope you all had a great weekend. There was more weekend, but that is better left for a completely happy entry.

So I've been going back and forth in my head about what to write regarding the movie. Let me start by saying, I'm not going to do a cut and hide anything. If you haven't seen it yet and you want to, probably best to just skip my post.

I will start like this: I love, love, love Firefly. The drama, comedy, action it has it all and then some. The show was fricken awesome. Being that I was raised with the TV and movies are my life, I tend to see things sometimes other people who just casually watch may or may not. When James and I watch a TV show or movie, and I'll say the next line (without having ever seen it before) or guess the twist, we say that I should write the stupid things. I just know formulas when it comes to movies/film and I know what works and what is just plain wrong. Firefly works. It had everything from creativity to excellent plot, great sense of timing, etc. That brings me to Serenity.

So we watched it the other night with Bryan/Noe/Xine/Kurt, all of which had seen it at least twice if not dozens of times. James and I had not yet seen it, but we knew from others that two characters die. James apparently saw a post on Slashdot that some jackass gave away the two deaths and James chewed the guy out. So he knew who was going to bite it. I had guessed: Sheperd as he is a great character (I love monks and was playing one in James' D&D game) but he wasn't essential to the plot, even though he had background that was never flushed out, he could easily leave the plot and the show could continue. My other guess would've been Inra. Yes, yes she is the sexual tension love interest of Mal, but, her character wasn't interesting enough to merit that she stay on the ship. She didn't really do anything on the ship. She, like Sheperd was exteraneous. You may have feld some connection on some level with these two characters, but the bonding of really knowing them, and feeling their feelings, weren't really there. At least not for me.

Anyhow, so the movie had me from the opening scene. How could it not? I enjoyed the 6 months having past, that any number of things could've happened that we didn't get to see. When tensions are being thrown up there, and interactions that are not where we left the characters, are imaginations start coming up with scenerios of what may have happened to cause these feelings. It gets you thinking about the character interactions, but as the 6 months seemed to not have essential plot material, we don't need to waste the time to get it on screen. I really enjoyed using my own mind to conjure the possiblities while watching the movie - I feel this is something not too many movies do. Kudos to Joss for that!

Sheperd comes and goes and I get teary, but I know that it makes sense that he leaves. I understand why he goes and I feel Mal's emotions and I care. It provides more plot for later on. Will Mal find his faith again? How will this loss of this spiritual factor in his life affect him? Sheperd's death leaves lots of options and is well timed. Then we go on until the beautiful battle scene with The Aliance and The Reevers. Where at the end, at his moment of Zen, Wash is killed. WTF? I lost it. Up until that point I was in love with the movie, at that point, I stopped. I couldn't accept the death of Wash, it just doesn't make sense. He was the character I could relate to the most. He had his area of expertise, and was damn good at it. But he was a normal guy. He wasn't an expert marksman or great strategist, he didn't automatically jump into a situation because Mal was telling him to. He was a guy who looked at things from both sides. He was a loving husband struggling with jealousy issues. To me he was the one character I could identify with on every level. My empathy with his character was there. Then he dies. Doesn't make emotional sense for me. Doesn't make movie/TV plot sense either. You need him. He is a core character.

Otay, yes, Joss does tend to throw that in his stories, loss of a core character. However, in this situation, I think he choose the wrong one. Seriously, okay, Mal couldn't go either, but just about any other character besides River could go and the show could possibly continue. Even Simon dying would add an new element of what to do with River, Kailee would have even more issues with listening to Mal, what would they do when someone was injured? Things like that add to plot, even if you miss the character. Wash dying didn't add any element and in fact took away. Zoe and Mal aren't going to hook up. In fact, Zoe will go on like nothing happened. The ship will still be flown. The loss is the character who I cherished for being like me. He had his one great talent, but was just a normal guy otherwise. I'm an excellent accountant/office manager (ego boosting), but I'm normal or subnormal in just about every other way.

The movie totally lost my interst at that point. I stopped really caring. I figured, let them all die now, I just don't care. I was pissed. I kept saying it over and over to James (bless his heart for listening). Even if he were to continue the show/movies (I know he isn't) I wouldn't watch. I couldn't care less what would happen now. The remaining characters I barely connect with emotionally. Superficially maybe, but I've lost interest. Without Wash the show wouldn't work. Joss really, really fucked that up. I understand that the actor who played Wash had another gig, but seriously, gigs come and go, and killing off Wash killed the whole show. He can't be replaced. Have him go into a coma or something so the possiblity of him coming back would be there.

I feel that when Joss gives up on something, he doesn't really care where it goes. Look at Buffy. Season 7 blew fucking huge ass chunks! The final episode? Worst ending to any series ever! Spike dying, well that I could deal with, I mean he was dead already any how, but the supernatural exists and he has brought characters back before. Spike (who did come back on Angel) could live on even if the show didn't in my mind and it's imagining of future Buffy life. Sunnydale getting swallowed by the Hellmouth - stupid fucking shit right there. All the Potentials being activated? That was lame. Anya dying - why not kill a useless character like Dawn? Anya was fun and interesting. I just think Joss gave up on it and started making up random dumb crap to completely end Buffy. Worse ending EVER! I can't emphasize it enough. That is exactly what he did with Serentity, gave up on caring how the fans would react or care about the ending.

There you have it. In one scene, one moment if you will, Joss lost me. I'll watch Firefly over and over and try to block out yet another lame ending to a series he has done. All I can say is for all his greatness, he certainly has moments of complete and utter gimpness. Hate me if you will for my slam of Serenity, but that is my opinion.