Short bits as Xandman is sleeping for what could be 10 mins or 2 hours ;)

1) Jamers found a full time job - at almost half of what he made when he was working full time previously. As the company he had been working at part time on call didn't have him work in November and most of December it was a blessing he got this job. He's doing tech support for Apple products. Not what he wants, but it should keep the roof over our heads and food on the table and right now that is all that matters. The best part was the job that was part time starting ramping up about mid December (while he was in training on new job working swing shifts) so he would work both jobs. The old company (we'll call it Printing) was surprised to find out that James had gone out and got a second job. I don't know why they would be surprised. They know he has a mortgage and a baby and er, hello! No hours in November and first half of December. What do they think pays the bills? Love? Ha!

2) Xander continues to grow and is adorable. Xmas was a tad uneventful as he doesn't really get even opening presents yet. This next Xmas should be far different.

3) I truly hate the company I work for (yes I'm just repeating myself now). They didn't give raises this year and we aren't getting any bonuses, but that isn't why I hate this company. I mean we are in the construction industry, I'm just happy to have a job, right? No I hate them because 1) the move of the office and the stupidity of what they did/didn't spend money on there. I believe I may have vented off about that before so I won't go into that now. 2) They had an open house at the beginning of December for our customers, vendors, employees, etc. I don't even know how much money they spent on the stupid thing, but right before the actual event, they purchased exercise equipment for the "workout" room. Equipment that the employees can't actually use yet (or maybe ever) due to our parent company not getting us the lien waivers that we have to sign before we can use the equipment. Why the big push to buy what had to be at least $10k of equipment if the employees can't even use it? To LOOK like a company who cares about its employees for the open house - why else? Oh, and I just found out that they are getting an espresso machine in the very near future. Why? We have coffee machines, and who the hey is going to operate and clean it? Basically I hate my company because it cares more about appearances than its employees. Hell we got to leave work at 3:30 on Xmas eve, great except for the fact that the PMs get off work at 3:30 anyways and the PAs (my position) leave at 4. We didn't even get that for New Year's eve. See the thing is, we know that money is tight and that is why nobody got raises and we won't get bonuses. But the LEAST they could do is show they do care by letting us out a little early to say "Thank you for all the hard work." Anyways that is where it lies.

Jamers should have insurance in about 60 days for him and Xandman. Then I can start looking for a new job closer to home and a company that hopefully does care more about its employees than they do about how the world thinks they care about it's employees.

3) We've had oodles of guests in the last three months which has been wonderful and stress inducing at the same time. I love visitors, but as I've come to learn, routine is pretty important for babies, and having others in the house just throws Xand's routine all off. We'll see if we can get back on track in 2010.

4) On the Xand note - I love the little guy but boy do I not have the maternal instinct. Jamers asked yesterday how I felt about being a mom. I told him to be quite honest I don't really like it (yes, I admit that freely!) but that is because I'm not a baby person I never have been. I'm just waiting for the time I can play and read and go places with Xand and that time isn't really here yet. I mean we do those things, but he doesn't really know and I'm totally uncomfortable (even after all this time) with being alone with him. Like now. Jamers is working (his new schedule M-T-W-F-Sa) so I have Xander all to myself on Saturdays. And guess what? Last night I started to get stressed out and have anxiety about having to watch him by myself today. At least I'm honest, right? So far things have gone okay. He is napping and I ate breakfast, I've had coffee and I'm just waiting for him to wake up to give him his 10 feeding and play time. I've thought of perhaps going on a walk with him, but I don't know with this cold weather and his little body.

5)We are members of the Oregon Zoo now, and our passes allow us to go to the Zoo for James and I for free as much as we want for the next year. Xand is under the chargeable age, and we can bring 1 guest each visit for free, plus free parking, discounts on merchandise and its apparently tax deductible.

Anyways Xander is starting to stir, so off I go. We're alive, probably keeping the house, and healthy and we are looking forward to 2010 being a phenomenal year for us. Toodlies.

In this Episode: Life is the major suck but really what is new?

*we applied for a loan mod on our first mortgage when (if) it goes through should drop our monthly payments by $400ish dollars. Which is almost enough to pay for daycare. Of course we'll still be in the hole every month, but we'll be using less savings. Course as it takes 30-90 days for the mod paperwork to get all taken care of, we're still looking at 3 months of the same payments - we could fall behind in 3 months and then we wouldn't qualify - how fricken lame is that?

*On that note, of the 13 criteria they evaluate the ability to be modified instead of refinanced - we had 12. I believe we don't need all 13 - the one we didn't meet? Our credit scores are too fricken high. James' is in the 740s and mine is in 787. So because we didn't go out and spend more money then we had and paid our bills on time, it may come back to bite us in the ass, again.

*Thanx to the new credit regulations, even though we have excellent credit, never been late or missed a payment 5 of our credit cards are jacking up the interest to ungodly amounts. Granted we only have the one chase card with any sort of balance and that was the purchase last year of the roof on the fixed 3.99% apr (which they can not mess with thankfully!) We got a loan from James' dad to pay off the AMEX because that one did have about $2900 on it and they were going to jack the rates up to 17%+. So yeah, our cards will definitely be only for ERs - which is really nothing new but pisses me off. WE have to pay for other people's f-ups. I'm just so sick of it.

*Xandman crawls -fast but not in a coordinated locomotion way. He does one set of "crawl" and push/scoot. He can cross a floor in about a minute or so when properly motivated. Two teeth are all the way in. He is standing up (though wobbly and not for long) by himself. He is really smart and laughs and giggles and makes almost all the money worries disappear.

*I keep asking the universe to help us out with the money problem. I'm not asking for the lottery (though I would LOVE it), or some rich relative to die or anything greedy like that. I'm just asking it for get us enough to get us by. I don't want to lose our house.

*James is still part time on call and his ability to collect unemployment when he isn't actively working is soon over. He is also sick and not working today and tomorrow.

*I'll be out again tomorrow after work looking for part-time employment for weekends/nights. I'm so tired I don't know how I'll manage but we can't afford for me not to. This pisses me off to no end. I'm whiny, I know but damn it, I've worked since I was 13 doing all the right things, and taking care of myself and my finances. Now in a matter of one year I've gone from happy pregnant wife to stressed-out worry wort of a mother who has no energy to take care of her home or social life.

*The only positive is I have him, my babyman, my furkids and everyone is healthy (mostly), we have a roof over our heads (for now), we can all eat well, and our house is filled with love. I guess that should be enough to keep my happy, but with the worry it just isn't.

That was As the World Collapses brought to you by the Rabid One.

quickies for a Friday

*Xandman has gotten his first two teeth (not all the way through the gums but the majority of each of them is through) He has his real baby hair coming in, his eyes are still blue, and his hair still seems awfully red/light sandy brown/blonde which has me fleclempt.

*We got a new cat. Someone I work with (who should NEVER EVER NEVER have pets) wanted to get rid of him. As the shelters are overly flowing with household pets Jamers and I decided to take him in. He came with the name "Well his name is Smokey, but usually we call him fatcat, or tubby, or tummycat" We have renamed him Kyiv like the Russian city, but old school spelling. He is big and beautiful weighing in at 19lbs 14ozs when we took him to the vet Monday. They had not taken him to the vet since they got him, had been feeding him Whiskas, and to get him out from behind the couch so we could take him they shot him with a plastic gun/darts. Needless to say he was more than happy to go into the crate to leave their house. Since bringing him home, he has turned out to be quite the lovekitty and is totally well behaved. The only downside is he is long hair and I find myself brushing him morning and night. He is on weight management food and seems to just be enjoying our home and family.

*My work is moving our office in three weeks. There is a huge mess around our current office with everyone purging and recycling. It is excitement around the office at an unparalleled level since I've been there. The bad thing is most of us are moving into Workpods, not even cubes. The walls are like 5' high so everyone can see in and they are ubber small. Bascially think jailcell. I'm not even going to bring up the fact that the amount of noise is going to go through the roof with almost all 50+ of us out in one big room. I'm not looking forward to this at all.

*My job is slow right now. I emailed my PMs, my supervisor and other PAs in the office to see if anybody needed help. Unfortunately everyone is sorta in the same boat. It is nice though as I'm on top of everything on my desk and I'm actually getting around to saving emails in the appropriate job files on the network.

*I'm worried I may be out of a job within the next couple of months if work doesn't pick up.

*I'm going to an Acupuncturist tomorrow for the second time in my life and the first since moving up here. I'm hoping it goes well and I look forward to going on a regular basis. Since the birth my back/neck/shoulders have been in almost constant pain. Coupled with the fact that my tailbone has not fully recovered over the last 6 months and I'm pretty unhappy physically.

*I have dropped back down below pregancy weight now. Now I just have that last pesky 60lbs to drop to get back to my happier smaller days. Don't worry I never get real skinny even at 60lbs less I only ever dropped down to a size 10. That was with working out constantly. I'm just a big gal even when I'm ubber fit.

That is all for now. My 10 minutes of free time on the computer are long gone.

1)M temp totally and utterly fucked up everything she touched. I kid you not. My PMs have been more than over joyed at the fact that I've been back - even though it has only been for 2 days a week. They have a new appreciation for all that I do for them. One told me that I spoil them, one told me that it was a determent to have the temp there and that they would've been better off with no one at all. Not one of them, nor my supervisor had anything positive to say about my temp. I have quite a job ahead of me of cleaning up everything she did in the system. It was like she had no training, had no notes, and had no resources - when in fact she had ample training (I think like 5 weeks), had taken 2 1/2 notepads of notes, and had my supervisor and two other PAs to ask questions of. Needless to say I'm less than pleased at her lack of work ethic and ability. My new mantra however,"I'm just glad to have a job" is keeping me from totally losing it.

2) A close friend of my sister's is in the hospital and has been for like 3 weeks. First ICU, than CCU, and now in a regular room. I don't particularly like the person, but I love my sister and it is an incredibly hard time for her right now. As always, I wish I could just make everything better for her.

3)Xandman is growing and doing fine. I'm not. I'm frustrated at the whole breastfeeding thing, but I don't want to formula only feed him for the bonding and health that breastfeeding entails. It's a double edge sword to say the least.

4) I think something is wrong with me. I'm dizzy off and on for like the last week or two. I'm getting plenty of water so I can't be dehydrated. I'm tired to the point of tuning everything out exhausted. I'm so tired that when I speak in the evenings I feel like my words are a million miles away from my head - that they aren't coming out of my head at all. I don't like this feeling one bit. I've had some pains in my sides off and on. I have some weird solid white mass coming out of a place solid white masses shouldn't be coming out of. That has been happening off and on for weeks as well. My milk still not where is should be so I'm going to look into taking some things that Betsy had previously suggested. Pumping takes all my break time at work which only contributes to my tiredness.

5) Xander starts daycare on Monday I'm worried and saddened and upset that we have no choice but to send him into the home of a stranger five days a week. I'm going to miss so much of his growing up that I just want to cry.

So that is my present mindset in 5 statements. Maybe in 2 or 3 weeks I'll have another 15 minutes to post. Who am I kidding? I go back to work full time starting next week I'll have even less time to computer. Pooplins

I loved the sun this weekend. I got to go out and mow the lawns which took awhile. I didn't mind though because I got to be out in the sun :) I pulled a little bit of weeds up and did some hoeing as well. I want to get planter boxes and put some out on the deck and a large one alongside the downstairs bedroom wall and fence up until the gate. Xine was kind enough to run out to Home Depot with me and when I saw the prices of boxes I decided the I'll just get the spot all hoed up for now and maybe sometime in the future Jamers and I can build boxes. It would be better anyways as that why I can get exactly what I want aesthetically and size-wise.

TMI: I started my period again. I know that most women don't get them again until quite awhile after birth especially those that breastfeed. I guess I'm just one of the lucky ones. I told my mom about it and she kept saying, "I'm so sorry. I didn't get my period again after having you for over a year. I'm so sorry. Well I guess you are pretty fertile." Which honestly didn't make me feel better. I guess it wouldn't be too bad but I'm just getting over a cold I must've picked up in CA.

I had to start pumping and saving milk up for this week as I'm returning back to work tomorrow all be it part time. I pumped Saturday and I was surprised at the lack of milk. I pumped Sunday and the same thing. I'm only getting like half an ounce per side per pump. I've made sure to cut out the coffee and I've been drinking water like it is going out of style. Now little one has been fussy off and on so I was wondering if my milk supply is low. But he feeds like all the time, which is supposed to increase my supply. After the lack of lactation from the pump I began to wonder. Otay well he is drinking a lot himself so maybe he is taking most of what I have? No that doesn't really explain the continued reduction of milk.

On a hunch I looked up breastfeeding while menstruating and guess what? My period could cause a reduced milk supply. You know what else can cause a reduced milk supply? Being sick. So double whammy for my baby lately. No wonder I hardly get anything out when I pump. So now that my cold is pretty much gone I'm hoping that the supply starts to increase again. I just hope my period goes away soon. I guess they are totally irregular when they begin again. Luckily I haven't had any cramps (yet) but damn I'm angry I got it again. I had just finished up the after delivery bleeding.

Oh, and the sling isn't so wonderful for me actually. It is the only time Xander conks out and unfortunately it doesn't sit on my shoulder right. It works fine for Jamers, but he has wide shoulders and no breasts or tum-tum to get in the way of it slinging correctly. I put Xander in it so I can get the laundry and dishes moving along but then I can't really pump, I can't use the restroom and I'm getting a backache due to my bad back and working in the yard this weekend.

I'm griping a lot. Sorry. I'm sure nobody actually reads this anyways but I had to get that out. I'm tired and I'm definitely NOT looking forward to going back to work tomorrow. I'm going to have to deal with the mess left to me by the temp, learn how to pump in the bathroom without having myself hanging out there for anyone walking in the bathroom to see, and figure out how to eat and rest during my breaks when all I'll have time for is pumping.

Argh! I really wish life had turned out a little differently for us. This situation is quite stressful and I don't know what to do.

Otay so I decided to begin looking up part time jobs that I could do preferably on weekends and evenings. Did you know that every job requires you to have previous experience, from janitors to dishwashers. WTF? I can clean my house and wash my dishes, why do I need 1-2 years previous work experience to apply for said job?

Thusly I'm in a foul mood. My thought was if I could get a part time job as a second job, then Jamers could stay at part time and we'd only have to pay for part time daycare and he would be able to spend that much more time with Alexander. Well I guess that would be the case if he stays at part time but I'm guessing that is going to be the case. In this economy I just don't see how they'll be able to give him 40 hours anytime soon and we need income now.

Any suggestions as to what an Accountant with 13 years experience can do part time to supplement her income? Maybe I should check out the local movie theaters and see if they have anything open?

at least I hope. I had contractions again throughout the day, but they stopped around 3ish or so. Oh well. Xander will show up when he wants to, right? Anyways, my mom is flying in tomorrow - I'm so excited! She has only been up here once, right after we got the house, almost two years ago. So much as changed since then. She hasn't met Shelby or Honey or Scully I think she is going to be so delighted to be here with us and the baby.

In not so great news, yesterday a firetruck was parked in front of our neighbor's house. The lights were on but they didn't use the siren - I told Jamers that isn't a good sign. Eventually they took off, and we kept our eyes open but didn't see any indication of a coroner coming to pick up a body. Our neighbor to the south is an older gent whose daughter lives with him. I was worried he had passed. Well early this afternoon we left to go get the one last piece of furniture for Alexander's room (at Goodwill because we are that cheap) and when we got back there was a mobile health care van delivering a mattress (and I assume a sick bed but we didn't see one). They were there for awhile than took off. Then about an hour or two ago, Jamers noticed there was an ambulance parked in their driveway, once again without the sirens or lights. The good news is James saw them take the old man out on a stretcher back into the house. Jamers has speculated that perhaps he was at the hospital and they had the medical delivery today so that the man could come home. Given my experience with granny, I would say that isn't necessarily a good sign. We don't really know them too well, Jamers has gone over when we lost Mulder to check their backyard and the lady was real nice. What do you say to someone who you barely know when they lose someone close to them? Not to mention, I'm on the brink of popping out a new life. I'm just all sorts of confused I guess.

Today has been another day of wait and see. I'm very bored, at least if I were at work I would be passing the time being productive, but then again I would be so stressed that it wouldn't be worth it. I had somebody from work call today to check in. Apparently she texted me but alas, we don't have texting on our phones, so I didn't respond. Why, when somebody texts a number that does not have texting, does it not bounce back to reply as such? My aunt apparently had tried texting me several times earlier this year before I talked to her to tell her no we don't have texting. To me a phone is a phone. If you have it in your hands, just call the person if you want to speak to them. Anyways, so I spoke to Mel and I told her that I was just too stressed to come back after Monday. She said, "I think things are going well. (Temp) has been quiet. I see her in Tina's office quite a bit." "Oh. So 5 solid weeks of training and two and a half notepads of notes aren't enough to help her out. Why am I not surprised?" "Seems like everytime I turn around she is in Tina's office." "And that would be why I haven't been back since Monday."

So yeah. I guess things aren't going to swell since I left. Oh well. I'm not going to sweat it whatever mess I come back to I come back to.

Now I'll toodle off as din-dins should be ready soon. We are about halfway through B5 Season 4 but I have no hope of finishing it off again before Xander arrives. Plus my mom, not the biggest sci-fi fan so oh well!

I had originally planned on working through this week, Friday being my last day before taking my leave. However, I had not planned on the fact that my body would have its own ideas about when I should stop working.

I apparently did not listen to the rather large deal my body made last Friday what with the migraine and all. Monday I went to work and began having contractions around 10:15. They were pretty far apart and definitely mild, but enough of a nuisance that I was like otay, no more work. I stayed through Monday and decided Tuesday morning, that although it gives me less time with Xander on the back end of leave, it was time I stopped going in. The stress of just being there, coupled with my temp's inability to be able to do the simplest things without screwing up was just too much.

How much you might ask? I had a nightmare last night where I went in today to do a few things, and saw that there were like 25 emails from Tuesday, all unread. I asked her, "did you take care of any of the emails?" and she replied,"only the one about dessert." That started the dream on the path of anger. She is holding some folder that looks unfamiliar to me, I ask her what it is? She states that it was some presentation folder she found on the network. I ask her if somebody had asked her to print it? And she said no. So then I ask her if she had started running projected cost reports and billing reports on Tuesday like she was supposed to. She stated, nope. She wasn't sure what to do. Then I started ripping her a new one in regards to how on Monday I told her the the importance of getting the billings out and then projected costs and how could she not have started them? And what was she doing if she wasn't replying to emails and printing things that were completely useless? This went on for about 5 minutes of real time ranting at her about her total lack of common sense.

The sad thing is that she really is like that. So all in all I'm incredibly glad I don't have to be there to continue to hold her hand. She had 5 weeks of training with me everyday and if she doesn't get it by now, she just doesn't get it. We'll see how much of a mess I come back to in a couple of months.

Anyways, so Monday contractions, but the closest they ever got was about an hour apart. Tuesday I had some later in the day and they never got closer than every 3 hours. Today? Not but maybe one or two - but I'm incredibly tired. In fact I can only count on one hand how many times I've been this exhausted before in my life. Jamers has this theory that my body is resting because it knows the energy it will be exerting soon. We'll see. I just want my baby in my arms already. I'm so fricken inpatient.

Well must toodle, Jamers went and picked my up the horrible dinner of my choosing tonight. Large fries, chicken nuggets, cheeseburger and milkshake. Yes I know, but I'm pregnant okay?

As stated, I didn't go to work today. Two fold reasons, one being the obvious snow/ice issue and driving through Beaverton, over 26, over the bridge and into work was more than I felt was safe today. Second reason? My ankles had gotten worse since yesterday. Thankfully, I slept with them up on a pillow and I spent most of the day in bed with them elevated and then iced them later. The swelling in my left ankle is pretty much gone, but the bruises and the pain is still there.

The bad news is of course, my office wasn't officially closed today. As almost nobody could drive in, you would think they would close it for the safety of their employees (one of the company's core values: Respect for the individual) however, as anyone at the company who is worth anything to the company can work from home, I guess they don't see the need to close the office. The only people who aren't able to work from home are pretty much the Project Admins and the receptionist. Those of us the company seems to not value and thus, we can either risk life and limb to come into work, or we can go the day without pay.

Have I mentioned how much I hate the place I work at? Seriously. Checking tomorrow's forecast, it isn't looking like a much better day than today, but I can't afford to loose another day of pay, so I'll try to go in and pray that my car and myself handle the roads without incident.

Happier news: I got to spend the day in bed cuddling with the furkids :) and Jamers! After yesterday's trek through Hell and back, this was most welcome. We were going to make cookies today but that sorta fell through and now he is making foodlins which we'll take downstairs and eat while watching Babylon 5. We started it yesterday and I've forgotten (probably again) how horrible the first couple episodes are for computer graphics, and some of the acting, but how much story and plot they shove into those episodes to get you to come back for more.

Other happy news: Alexander just won't quit kickalating me! I do find it most annoying at times, however, as James pointed out it means he is active and hopefully healthy. I can't wait to see friends again as by now I think he doesn't go more than 10 minutes or so without movement. That means everyone who wants to feel the squirmies should be able to!

The man is telling me the foods are ready so it is off to the downstairs of cold to eat and watch.

Good:
I switched my dr to the one I saw yesterday. She was very nice and knowledgeable. I weigh in at 15.5 lbs from when I started this thing the nurse said I was right on target for weight gain. Xander's heartbeat is perfect.

Bad news: Found out today from our most unsympathetic HR person that although they have to give me 12 weeks FMLA, as my "official" hire date wasn't until 3/1/08 I don't qualify for Short Term Disability. You have to be employed for 12 months before you can go on STD.

To remind those of you who were with me last year, when I was temping (I started in Nov 07) my temp hours were up and I was thusly to be hired as a full time employee in, oh, mid-February 08. However the Corporation has some stupid policy about only hiring people on at the beginning of a month or something so although they wanted to hire me I had to wait until 3/1/08 to become an employee.

That little 2 weeks of waiting earlier this year is now the cause of major meltdown on my side. Without STD I won't be able to take my 12 weeks maternity leave simple as that. If Jamers had a job by then that paid wages like he had than we could swing it. That was the plan back in the day before he got laid off. But now there is no way. Without any income ( I have no idea if his unemployment will still be in effect in February) we can't pay the bills to cover the mortgage and house expenses but maybe 3 months. Which would cover maternity leave, but leave us without any safety net and who knows when James will get a job? We need that money in case it drags out far beyond unemployment running out.

Oh, and here in OR there isn't a state SDI like in CA so I can't get any aide from the state for my leave. Plus even with just my income we make too much money to qualify for any programs to help us.

So as it stands now:
1) Jamers gets a job before Xander shows up and I get my maternity leave. It will eat up most of savings, but leave us enough to help get by.
2) Jamers doesn't get a job and I take my 2 weeks PTO that I'll have and go back to work almost right away. If that is the case, at least Jamers will be home with Xander during the day so we won't have to worry about daycare.
3) I win the lottery and we don't have to worry about money for a good long while.

As 1 or 2 are the most likely I will start looking for another job as soon as Xander arrives either way. The was the uttmost last straw from the corporation I work for and they can kiss my shiny white heiney.

My prediction is we end up letting the house go and move back to SC where at least we will have family to help us out.

Off now to go out to dinner to have food that I want even though we shouldn't be eating out and spending the money but at this point my happiness at eating miso and tempura far outweighs the nagging piece of my brain that says we shouldn't spend the money.

Life has gotten rather good lately. Friday Jamers and I found out that we could get a loan for almost twice of what we've been looking in the range of. It took such a huge weight off my shoulders knowing that I don't have to hold myself to X amount if we find a house that happens to cost X plus a little. We've also began narrowing our search of where we think we would like to buy which is good. I think we've decided that we would rather buy more acreage and live further out in the country than buy closer to town and have less property. Overall I think that we'll be pretty set on what we are looking for when we go to get a realtor. ebegrl (because you had offered :) ) or anybody with house buying knowledge: I have a question: Our mortgage broker told us we should go for a loan about two months before our lease here is up, which would be around March 17th or so. He also told us to start looking at houses now. When should we get set up with a realtor? After we already have the loan in two months or should we sit down and talk to someone know? That is the last worry I have for know and any info anybody out there could provide me would be appreciated in a super fantastic pickle way!

Work is going, well the same. My boss continues to have issues dealing with . . .people and appears to our department to be failing miserably at his job. None of us can figure out why he hasn't been let go yet. Everyday is a bag of mystery as to whether he is going to talk down to us, ask us to do yet another piece of his work, or if he is going to take us out to lunch. I've summed up his ability to deal with his department like this: he is the abusive boyfriend that after he beats the crap out of you is remorseful and buys you things to try to make up for it. After the last incident where he berated me (erroneously so even) he called me into his office a few days later and kissed my ass. I guess he overheard me telling the other ladies in my department that I didn't need this job, that Jamers makes enough money to support us and I don't need to be treated like that. Anyhoo, point is my boss is probably the only truly bad thing about my job :(

My mom sent the money that she is giving us to help with the down payment. We went ahead and put it in the bank on Saturday along with the money James has been saving. Looking at the little printout from the bank I somehow feel rich. I don't think I'll ever see this much money in any account we have ever again and I'm relishing the fact that I can feel semi rich even if only for a short while.

No news on the baby front. I've started using an online webpage that Xine had directed me towards. I haven't been using it very long so I don't think it really has "my" timing right yet. I'm hoping that in the next couple of months it will really help to pinpoint my optimal day for conception and we'll be able to do so. Course it doesn't help that I only see the man on the weekends, but we are making due. As I believe everything happens for a reason, I'm accepting the lack of babage as a good thing. I think that the stress of house buying and moving is enough at one time and I think that once we are all settled into our own home that things will look up on the baby front.

I'm counting my life in milestones right now. Next big one is our trip down to Disneyland at the end of Feb for Alisha & Ryan's wedding. After that we have loan processing, house hunting, house buying, packing, moving, and finally house setting up. I think that the next 6 months of my life are going to be pretty awesome, regardless of problems at work.

I've been working more on my fairie story. Well more in the sense that I'm working on the world, the races, and the history/background of the world. After that is all done I'll be able to begin the actual story. I still haven't decided what age group I'm going to gear it towards which is proving a little difficult. I have some great ideas and pictures in my head though and I'm very excited about it. As Jamers pointed out in the car the other night when I was describing the montage of Firefly clips I wanted to put together to Paper Flowers, I have a lot of creativity that I haven't tapped into yet. Guess the accounting life has pretty muched glass ceilinged it. Well I'm getting ready to shatter that thing and move on up. Oh, I won't even get started on all the things I want to do to my house!

Anyhoo, I've rambled on and on and I'm not quite sure if any of you out there read me since I hardly ever post. I'll be toodling off now onto less interactive things, like watching South Park or looking at homes online or something. I hope you are all faring well, though by briefly scanning your entries I see some of you have very hard times ahead. playmayt I just wanted to let you know I'm sending happy vibes your way lady. I know life is crappy and I can honestly say I understand what you are going though right now or pretty much so. Til next time Pickle's relished ones!

I just had to say that normally on a Friday afternoon, I'm pretty lonely and bored. Today however, I've had oodles of cute guys sit here and talk to me, which always puts a smile on my face, the talking not necessarily the cuteness, I'm married, happily. However, I've talked with 5 of our guys this afternoon off and on as 3 of them have been working in the back shop. It has been very pleasant.

Overall today has been a pretty decent day so far. Now should the plane crash this evening (I hate to fly, remember?) I would like to say that my last day was pretty darn good.

And what is up with cat fur on my undies today? Now I don't care what Bazzy does with my panties when I'm not home, but I would think that he would have a mind to put them in the laundry when he is done. That's a bad kitty! A bad, bad kitty!

I just had a subcontractor come into the office to pick up a payment. No big deal. He starts telling me how he needs to get a new secretary. One who does more than answer the phones and schedule appointments. One who is younger. I said nothing. I have no idea about his "secretary" so I can't comment on her abilities. I get up to get something while he is jabbering. Then he says, "Well let me put it like this. I don't have a secretary like the one they've got here." I calmly said, "That is because I'm an Office Manager and a bookkeeper as well as reception." I wanted to slap the crap out of him.

I don't know why but I absosmurfly hate when people call me a secretary. I happen to answer the phones and sit at the front desk, but I'm no secretary. I was so angry, but I smiled and made the requiste chit-chat anyway.

He continued on a little bit about the fact that he has had his "secretary" working for him for so long, blah, blah, blah. I think he wanted me to quit here and go work for him, that or he was hitting on me. So I decided that I needed to make it clear to him that neither of those options was a possibility.

I told him, I know how difficult it is to find good help. I said that when I was looking for candidates to take my position when I leave I couldn't find anybody who wanted my job. He was shocked and said, you're leaving? Yes. My husband and I are moving to Portland at the end of the month. He left shortly thereafter.

It was a weird and irritating experience. Now all I can think about is being a "secretary"

In light of the truck being on the friz, we haven't been able to get to storage to take the last pieces of furniture and boxes over there. It was actually nice for awhile because it pulled me off packing duty and freed up that time for apartment cleaning. Now the apartment is about as clean as I can get it until we leave and the truck is still not working right.

Last night we went to the grocery store and picked up batteries for the smoke detector. The thing hasn't had a battery for as long as I can remember. In fact, I'm not sure it ever had a battery since I've lived there. Anyhoo, we get home and I plunk the new battery in and the thing starts beeping and beeping and beeping and the cats are cringing, so I pull the battery out and say, "Obviously this thing is broken."

I give my aunt a call and let her know that they will need to get a new one. We speak about things going on and then she asks (as a double check) if they can paint the apartment when we are up in Portland. I had told them before that the majority of our stuff will be in storage by then, but that was before the truck broke. I relayed the information to her that there is still furniture in the apartment, she said that is okay, she isn't worried about the furniture. Thankfully!

A short while later, mom gives me a call. I hardly get to talk to her anymore since she started her job. She works the graveyard shift and her days off vary every week. It sucks though because even more rarely do I get to see her, and soon I won't have the ability to just drive 5 minutes down the highway and visit. I tell her about the few things I still want to get into storage and the truck situation. She offered up her car. She sleeps during the day anyhow, so it is of no loss to her if I borrow it in the afternoons and then bring it back later in the evening. I'm so stoked!

So tonight since the Star Wars game is not going to happen, I'll drive on over there, pick up her car and then run stuff over to storage. I'm so relieved. I'll be able to put most of the stuff in storage today and then I'll feel better when my aunt and uncle come over to paint. I don't want it to be an inconvience to them to have to move stuff. I think all that will be left is the cat tower, tv/tv stand, computer desk, couch, coffee table, and bookcase. intrepid_glory is gonna take the bookcase, couch and tv stand, I'm just not sure when.

Lisha, do you think you guys could take the bookcase sometime in the next week? If you could that would be awesome. That way when Mike and Sue come over to paint it would be that much easier. If not that is okay too, I'm sure they can pull it off the wall for a spell.

Anyhoo, that is what I have to look forward to tonight. Ohhhhh! I redid my resume last night and Jamers said it was gold, whatever that means. I checked Jobdango and found one job that I was excited about. After much reworking of my cover letter, I went ahead and emailed off my application for that job. I'll check again tonight and see if anything new and eye catching has landed on jobdango.

I hope you all have a great day.

Work received an acceptance for the person they want to take my position. I feel good and sad about this. I feel good because I know the guy, he is smart and trustworthy and I'll feel comfortable knowing he is taking care of the Slatters as well if not better than I did/do. I feel good because I don't have to worry about a moron to train, he is completely competent. I feel sad because it is just another reminder that I will be leaving and I love this place so much.

In other news, Verizon has lost my business permanently, as well as a potential James. Saturday when we went in with pops to take my phone off his account. The guy does the credit check and then tells me to pick out a plan. I tell him I do not want to sign up for a plan as my husband and I are moving shortly and will be going in on a new plan together and we haven't decided what cellphone company we are going with yet. I have to tell him this like 3 times. I then tell him I would just like to go on a month to month until we decide. He tells me that I will lose my phone number if I go on a month to month, because the number is now on a post paid account and switching it to a prepaid will mean I have to switch numbers. Why I wonder, as it is just setting me up to not be locked into a year contract. Apparently Verizon wants to guarentee that they are going to be able to milk me for at least a year. At this point I call James over. Here are my options, 1)Sign up for a year plan that I may end up canceling in June when we move 2)Lose my number then and there and go on a month to month or 3) Turn my fucking phone off and go cell less for the next month and a half.

So the guy behind the counter is telling me if I sign up for a plan, I can always change it later. I try, once again to explain to him, that my husband and I aren't sure if we are going with Verizon, so signing up for a plan now is not an option. He turns to James, "Well, what are your considerations for when you two sign up for a plan?" I tell him, in the grand scheme of moving, our cell plans are the last on our list and we haven't even begun to discuss what we want from our provider. He then tries another tactic. "Well when you move to Portland, you will be paying .69 a minute, so it would be to your benefit to sign up now." James, (boy I do love him) pipes up with, "Why would it cost .69/min?" He tells us my dad's plan is for CA only and there will be roaming charges. James points his finger in the air and says, "well that pretty much decides it. Cingular doesn't charge me roaming charges." My dad comes over and we decide to keep my phone on his plan until after we move and get our own phones. At which point, as much as I love him, I'll just send my phone down to my pops and he'll cancel it then.

I tell the guy to forget it. Keep me on my dad's plan and my husband and I will go with another carrier when we move up there. Fuck Verizon. They apparently don't know the meaning of customer service, nor do they listen. Dude totally sold me on not going with Verizon if only for the complete and utter lack of assistance he provided. James didn't even think cell companies charged roaming anymore. After we walked out of the store, my dad still had some other business to take care of. I was so pissed! I've never liked sales people, and I never will. I wanted one simple thing and he couldn't make it happen. So he pushed and pushed (he obviously works on some form of commission) for what was best for him, not what was best for me. I'm quite sure there are people out there who can be bullied into things, and pressured and give in and do things without thinking them through. I am not one of those people. The more somebody pushes me, the more turned and pissed off I get and in the end, they lose, not me.

Whether we go with Cingular or TMobile or somebody else has yet to be decided. However Verizon lost one current customer and one potential customer due to a money hungry sales person. Way to go Verizon.

Anyhoo, I hope you all had a great weekend. There was more weekend, but that is better left for a completely happy entry.

1) My lj friend of yesterday, the one with the angry comments, he has gone friends only. Which would be cool and all, but he removed me as well and I can't figure out why. Makes me feel pooplins.

2) We have one of those fax/printer/scanner/copier machines here at work. It was in the middle of printing my check batch, 35 or so checks. About 2/3 of the way in, it receives a fax, and instead of storing it into memory until the check batch is done, it printed the fax on one of the checks. The remaining 1/3 were one check off. I've never seen this happen. The check batch gets sent to the printer in one lump sum, so how the hey could that have happened? That too makes me feel pooplins, although Christine didn't care and told me to just keep the checks as is.

3) Tweed should be getting our application fee any time now. I'm so excited. Looking at the pics of the house, it looks like it is a little more dark than I would've liked, but I'm not complaining. It is quite large and for a year or so we can put up with it. This makes me happy!

4) I've decided based on the pics that we saw and the fact that brand new carpet is getting laid down as I type this, we need to get area rugs. I want one under the dinning room table (we have one now) and one under the couch/coffee table area. That way we can eat without my anal retentiveness rearing it's ugly head. I think our house will also be no shoes inside. That way the carpets stay cleaner, and well, I've watched way too much Fruits Basket. They have "house" shoes, "school" shoes, and outside shoes. I still find that odd, but I'm sure it helps to keep the house nice. So money will need to be spent on rugs, once we get there, but I'll get cool rugs and they will add flare to the house. This makes me happy.

5) Mr. Sunshine is out again today and the office is rather quite. I really want to be out on a walk right now, but it isn't going to happen. However, last night we did get some walking around town in with Lila. It was such a loverly night. I went outide around 9:30 and I didn't get cold. We slept with some of the windows opened. I can't even remember the last time that happened. This made me happy.

6) The house is getting a walk through from the real estate agent in about 15 minutes. It brings the house one step closer to leaving our family. I was thinking about granny again last night and couldn't help but be sad. It would've been so much easier to let the house go if she were still alive. That and I was also thinking, that at least will be in a completely different state and out of town when the new person/people move in. At least that was a comfort, but overall feelings of the pooplins.

7) I love Korn. They are playing on the radio and I just had to put that out there.

Toodles everyone. Hope this day finds you happy and healthy.

BTW, does anyone like my new icon? Jamers made it for me last night after I made him watch the utter WTF that is David Hasselhoff singing Hooked on a Feeling.

It was beautiful this morning, and now the fog-like clouds have returned. No sun to be seen. I'm so very bored here at work. Christine couldn't come in today, and I've done all the work I can conceive of to do. Right now I'm shredding piles o'paper, but that too will come to an end.

Jamers faxed over the rental application today. So far I haven't heard anything, I'm thinking that is a bad sign. Jamers will probably say that not hearing isn't necessarily bad, but I would think that if he wanted to go the next step, he would call us and tell us to send the application fee. My credit is outstanding and the only thing I can think of that would be a detereant is the fact that we don't yet have jobs. I really hope that won't count against us.

My aunt and uncle went to our house today to walk the termite guy through. They are also having a gent look at the bathroom problem to see how much/what can be done about it. Last night I went through and cleaned the walls and the ceiling. It looked so much better than it had, but it still needs work. I'm finding that I do better cleaning the apartment right now when I do different parts of different rooms instead of one sweeping "bathroom" or "kitchen" cleaning. Not sure why this is other than the fact that if I target a specific thing, windows for example, I can see after a light cleaning just how much work I'll have to put into it. I think I'll just keep doing bits and pieces up until the last week or so. Then I'll tear through the serious cleaning, one room at a time. That way when we move the stuff into the Uhaul, I'll only have to do light cleaning and I'll be done.

I still have to call the credit cards, banks, and other miscell bill type peeps to set up forwarding. I don't trust the USPS to do anything correctly. I still receive mail for someone who has never even lived in my apartment. I'm hoping that if . . . er, when...when we get the house I'll be able to start calling those places by the end of this month.

Furkids go in for the leukimea booster shot on the 29th. We're going to go see my dad on Saturday. It'll be nice to visit briefly, and we'll go to Verizon and get my cell phone off my dad's plan. That way I'll be able to switch the number to a Portland number and be on my way. Sadly, as of late, Alamahombre (my cellphone) has been acting up. His banner says "Verizon" instead of his name. I've checked the settings, and it is there to use his name, but the phone won't display it. This last weekend I kept getting distortion when using the phone. Sounded like I was underwater, which didn't help when we were calling people to come pick us up when the truck broke down.

I dropped off the drapes yesterday at the dry cleaners. They'll take a week to clean. Am I cleaning them too early? I can't imagine that they will be all cacka by the end of May.

I don't have to worry about the carpets, they're getting replaced thankfully.

That is about all I can think of to take care of when leaving the apartment. Does anybody who is still reading this have any tips or hints or can you think of anything I've missed? I would like to leave the apartment in spectacular shape. It is what I would've done for granny afterall.

Well I babble on and the shredding calls. Toodles all!

Things on my mind:

Why does it have to be so fricken sunny and nice on days when I have to work? We're supposed to see Lila tonight, so maybe we can walk down on the beach this evening. That would be loverly.

I really, really want us to get this place we're filling out the app for. It is a nice 1600 sq ft, 3 bed, 2bath(+)? in a nicer more secluded part of Beaverton. The rent is a little higher than we were looking for, but the area, yardage, and fact that it has a 25 ft long walk in closet make it well worth it. This makes me happy.

I'm bored here at work. There is nothing else for me to do. I'm sure in a few months when I've got a job up in Portland, I'll be longing for these days of slowness. That thought actually makes me happy.

One of the last emails I received prior to pulling my resume off the internet was from a placement agency. When I emailed the lady to let her know that I wouldn't be looking to begin working until the second week in June, she replied to let her know if she could help in the future. I'm thinking I'm gonna call her and schedule a generic interview for the 15th of May. I can't hurt can it? I'm sure that she'll be able to line something up for me starting that second week in June. Maybe I'll call her in a little bit. That thought makes me happy as well.

In speaking with my mom yesterday, she is really gung-ho about moving to Portland. She said the only thing is my sister has to want to go. My plan was already to get my sister to see as much and experience as much of Portland as possible when she rides up with me for the move. She'll be staying with us the first week. She keeps thinking that when she is there, we'll be hanging out with our friends, or working, or doing something that will force us to leave her at the house by herself. I keep trying to get it through to her that I want her to spend time with me. That is why I invited her up there. I've wanted to get her up there all along, and now that my mom has given me the "secret" talk to get my sis interested enough that she wants to move too, I'm all jazzled up about it. I may get them up there yet!

My cousin Jeff who I saw yesterday at Easter dinner, is thinking about moving up to Portland as well. He has had a couple of friends move up there. That is so fricken cool! I would love to have him up there as well. We have completely different lifestyles, but I love him so much. I told him, should he want to come up and scope it out, once we have a house to live in, he is more than welcome to come and stay with us.

We got our fed tax money already. It is really going to help for the next couple of months until we're both employed.

The truck is dead at Jamers work. His dad thinks it is the distributor cap. I think we could afford to drop up to a couple hundred on it to keep it alive. Anything more than that and it probably wouldn't be worth it. James looked up the blue book for it, $600, so yeah, a couple hundred is about the limit to fix it.

Anyhoo, I'll toodle off now. I hope this loverly day finds all of you well.

With nary a cloud in the sky! What a wonderful day indeed! It looks like we may have an in for the house we want unless the one couple that got a chance to look at it wants it. They took it off craigslist, as the house was not in the shape they feel comfortable showing it in. The owner told James that they are going to wait until the other couple moves out and they've fixed it back into good shape before they rent it out. They are looking to push back the rent date. Originally they were looking to get it rented by May 5, now they've pushed it to May 15th. We are flying up there May 12th in the evening, and flying back May 15th in the afternoon. Of course, we haven't bothered to check with our Portland Peeps yet about crashing at houses, but we're hoping it will be cool with them.

The plan is to go up, check out rentals on the weekend, and schedule interviews for that Monday, the 15th. The only snafu is it falls on Mother's day weekend, but my mom is okay with it and I'm sure Momma Donna will understand. In any case that gives me a month to step back from my resume and cover letters and revamp them so that I can get interviews on that Monday. Keeping my fingers crossed . . . .

That is all. I wish we didn't have gaming today. I want to to outside and soak up the sun. Who knows? Maybe Duane will cancel? Toodles, all.

I've removed my resume from Monster, hotjobs, and careerbuilder. They haven't produced anything remotely viable in the last, what, 2 or 3 months? I think I have to accept the fact that I'm just not that interesting on paper to warrant calls for interviews.

The house thing is all wacky now, so I don't know what is happening there either.

The boys are taking a gent out to lunch today that Matt wants to have do my job. This is making me even more depressed. I don't have a new job. I don't even have people (other than temp agencies) interested in me. Now I have to watch somebody else get this most amazing job and sit here and be all happy lala when there is nothing up ahead for me.

I guess I'll go eat my salad now.